Senior Extraction
Technician
Mullingar, Ireland • €95,000 - €120,000 • Full Luxury Board
The "Mullingar Suite"
You will reside in our on-site 5-star castle wing. Private jacuzzi, Egyptian cotton sheets, and 24/7 housekeeping included so you can focus entirely on your hands.
Michelin Dining
Our private chef, formerly of Le Bernardin, prepares three organic meals daily. A customized diet ensures your skin pH remains neutral for the bulls.
The "Soft Hands" Protocol
Mandatory 2-hour daily paraffin wax treatments. We insure your hands for €5,000,000 against calluses or paper cuts.
Elite Livestock Only
You will only work with "Diamond-Tier" bulls. These animals listen to classical jazz and are massaged daily. No aggressive livestock.
⚠️ Automatic Disqualification Criteria
Our bulls are extremely sensitive to the cortisol levels and "desperation pheromones" found in certain human subjects.
Therefore, for biological safety reasons, we cannot accept applications from individuals who have ever participated in:
- 🚫 Cryptocurrency Trading or "Mining"
- 🚫 Forex / Day Trading / "Signal" Groups
- 🚫 Pyramid / Multi-Level Marketing Schemes
*We perform a deep-web background check. If a crypto wallet is found linked to your ID, you will be blacklisted from the European Union Agriculture Database.*
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